Recovery is shit.

I’m sure one day, I will be able to swiftly go through all the benefits of overcoming or at least working to overcome your eating disorder but today isn’t that day.

When it’s good, it somewhat sits at a solid mediocre or a fine line that says “well, you’re functioning — so that’s a plus”. Don’t get me wrong, there are days where I look at my body and don’t want to punch something repeatedly or go for an anxious walk but other times its just shit.

Congratulations, you’re having a bad day. Maybe someone said something to you, or perhaps you overheard a stranger talking about their diet. Alternatively, you could have had something challenging for lunch or maybe it’s just a bad day. Well, whatever it was — here you are.

Prepare for the thoughts to spiral with the recurring motif of your thighs touching. Have fun catching glimpses of yourself in the mirror, or window, or anywhere you can find a reflection to tear apart.

Welcome to the rest of your day.

No matter how hard you cry, hit, burn, or cut you’re now stuck here. Prepare to reap what you sow because you’re stuck in this body and there’s no way out.

Welcome to the rest of your life.